All Rowelled Up

All Rowelled Up
All Rowelled Up

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Crazy in the Hood

Everyone's had one at some point in their life I'm sure. They may be the topic of some of your backyard barbecue conversations or the person you tell people about if you want to give them a good laugh. This person scares you. This person weirds you out. This person is your crazy neighbor lady.

The first encounter I had with Crazy was last summer. I was pulling into my driveway and she was walking down the street in front of my house. At first I thought she was just taking a walk. As I waited for my garage door to come up I noticed her out of the corner of my eye just standing in the street staring at me. Maybe her car broke down and she needed help. But as I looked down the street there was not one car to be found. Not even in the driveways. What was this lady doing? I pulled into the driveway, a little creeped out, and continued on with my day.

Encounter #2 - A few weeks had gone by and I hadn't even thought about Crazy again. Little did I know that she was about to become a part of our neighborhood family, kind of. My brother came over one Sunday afternoon and he always parks his car at the end of the driveway, he never fully pulls up to the garage. I was looking out the front storm door and noticed her walking by my house. I didn't think it was weird until she stopped behind is car and just stared. You would think when she saw me watching her she would keep on walking but that's not what she did. We had a staring contest as I was telling everyone in the house to come look at her. She just kept staring. Let me paint you a picture of this creepy creep. She is petite, blonde pixie haircut, very pale and thin. She usually wears a sundress with a floppy sun hat and carries a box of tissues. And I think the box is empty. I've only seen her pixie hair a few times. For a short while I wasn't sure if she had hair. If you have ever seen Poltergeist 2, she looks like the preacher who comes to their house. If you have not seen this movie then go google old preacher from Poltergeist 2. It will scare the s#@t out of you!  Zach went outside to see what she wanted and she approached him and told him he had a nice yard. Not sure why she was checking out my brothers car.

We started seeing more of her after this. Always in a sundress and always carrying her empty box of tissues. She always stared at us, even as she was walking away. Her head completely turned around. Creepy. We found out she lives about 6 or 7 houses down from us. If she's not walking around you can find her driving, very sloooowly, sometimes driving as she turns her head to watch us. Real safe.

We had a face off one day when I was running. I was out for my after work run and I was waiting for what Pandora was going to surprise me with next. I tend to look behind me from time to time when I run just to make sure some creeper isn't coming up behind me. I turned around and there she was. I kept running. She sped in front of me and stopped at the stop sign. Just sitting there watching me in her rearview. I didn't want to run by the drivers side in case she tried to grab me so I side stepped it and went around the passengers side. I turned the corner to head down the street and I kept looking back and she was just sitting there. As I got to the end of road to make my next turn, there she was speeding fast, turning around in the cul-de-sac and facing me as I ran towards her. Is she going to run me over? Is she going to follow me when I turn onto the next street? Is she going to follow me home? I called Zach and it was less than a minute when he came driving up to me but she had already taken off. When I passed my house again I went ahead and stayed.

Zach quickly became the neighborhood watch (just watching for her) and informed all our neighbor friends about her. Turns out, she was quite famous. We heard that she had been caught stealing mail, letting her dog poop in other peoples yards and sitting in her car at some restaurants near our house. I feel a little sorry for her because there's obviously something wrong with her but I for sure don't want to be near her.

Ever since we found out what house was hers I can't help but look in the window every time I drive by. She always has her curtains open and the lights on. I tell myself not to look cause I'm scared I will see her standing there naked or holding a head or something. Geez, I pray I never see that!

Zach and Crazy got into it a few months ago. She was creepin' by and he simply told her to keep on and quit staring at our house. She started yelling and cussing him out and drove down to her house and continued to scream at him from her driveway. The sheriff was called and a report was filed and it wasn't the first time the sheriff's department received a complaint on her. I guess she is famous with them too.

Last night tops all her craziness. We were on our way home from dinner and as we pulled into the neighborhood we realized the car waiting to turn in after us was Crazy. Zach pulled in off the street but stopped to look back and see if it was her and all of a sudden.....vrooom! She put the gas on and acted like she was going to ram the back of us. What? I got so scared! Was she really that crazy? I told Zach to move on and just go home. We continued to drive and she stay stopped in the road. All of a sudden she took off and turned down the other road that leads to our house. She must have sped like a nut because when we got to wear the 2 roads meet up there she was, driving in front of us and slamming on the breaks and then taking off again. I made Zach drive past our house so she wouldn't see us pull in. I don't want her to visit us. Every time I pull out of the garage in the morning I have this image in my head of her popping up at me from our front porch. Oh, I hope she moves out of the neighborhood soon. There's my story. I know it's long but I just thought you should know.

Your uncrazy neighbor,


P.s. She just put her Christmas tree up 2 weeks ago. After Christmas was over.


  1. Two words: holy. crap.

    This post seriously had me at the edge of my seat like one of those thriller movies. I totally hear you though, everyone DOES have a creeper. But I think yours tops mine. Mine just frequents my work. I don't need to live near her. Shudder! That part about when you went jogging freaked me the heck out.

    I know what you mean about feeling sorry when something is wrong. But what stinks is, even though some people deserve a little sympathy, sometimes you have to weigh that against personal safety, you know? It always makes me feel bad when I want to sort of reach out to this woman that comes to my work, but at the same time, I feel really uncomfortable when she's there.

    Hope she moves soon! Yowzers.

  2. Oh my gosh... I just now saw the part about the Christmas tree... What the..!?

  3. It must be a Rausch Coleman home neigborhood thing because we have a "CrAzY lady" too!!! She got into it with Jason and we called the sheriffs office and apparently she has already tried to sue the City of Inola and 2 of our neighbors. She throws her dogs poop in other peoples yards and she threatned to call DHS on us for swinging the baby too "high" in her swing outside. I swear I feel like she has a telescope pointing in my living room...too weird!

  4. People probably think I'm crazy, since I've been sitting at my desk laughing out loud hysterically! Why have I not heard of Crazy before!?! I wanna come over just to be a part of this madness, haha!

    Sorry you have to deal with her, but thanks for the laughter this morning! :)

  5. OK that is creepy!! I don't have any crazy neighbors like that thankfully!! Hopefully she moves out or there are enough complaints that they can do something??
    PS: I'm a new follower -- love your story telling!


Thanks for making my day and stopping by!