All Rowelled Up

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

CRYING OVER ~~SPILLED~~ PUMPED MILK

Guilt. It's what I feel. It's what I've been feeling for several weeks now. From what I've heard from other moms this is totally normal. It's not selfish and I've done it for over 7 months now and I think it's time. TIME TO STOP PUMPING!!!!!

I have such mixed emotions about it. My plan before I had Evelyn was to pump until I couldn't pump anymore. Can't do it. It's starting to drive me crazy. I feel that in the past 7 1/2 months she's gotten mostly breast milk (we supplement with formula) and she is eating her baby food so well that I think it's time to start drifting away from pumping.

I started this transition a couple of weeks ago. Only pumping once at work instead of twice and this weekend I only pumped when I got up and when I went to bed. I didn't notice any pain throughout the day and when I finally pumped in the evening I really didn't get an abundance of milk. This week I haven't pumped at work at all and it is such an awesome feeling of freedom.

As proud of myself as I am for sticking out as long as I have I still feel guilty for stopping. I have enough frozen milk that it should take me really close to her birthday when she can start drinking regular milk. I think my biggest issue with quitting is that I am NOT good with change. I mean, this little pumping machine has been by my side for over 7 months. We hang out several times a day. Just me and the pump. And I know when I pump for the last time it's going to be the last time I use the machine and that part of Evelyn's infancy is over. It's one more step to her getting bigger and it makes me just a tiny bit sad. I can't believe in 4 1/2 months she will be ONE YEAR OLD. It's almost too much for this sentimental momma to handle.

One more upside to stopping pumping.....I can give up this AwFuL nursing bra!! A) It's ugly B) It's been rubbing the same spots for 7 1/2 months now C) I can feel "free".

I'm also happy that I won't have to buy nursing pads and milk bags anymore. Yes, formula is expensive but do you know what else is friggin expensive? Milkbags! I spend $20 a week on those puppies. I'm hoping the ones I bought this weekend will be the last ones I have to buy.

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Yes, I know it's a week late but here is my little Valentine. Best.One.Ever.